About offending and being offended – Part 3
You as offended by others – how should you react
Is it best to speak up , is it best to shut up and just let them insult you – I think there is no simple answer to this , but I do know that seeking God concerning these things , is always the best thing you can do , He will then prompt you to either talk or be slient , according to His will … one thing is sure though , we must teach ourselves to not take insults to the heart and be offended . and I am saying this, no matter what people tell you , try to not become offended.
Bible teaches us not to be hyper sensitive “Do not take to heart everything people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. For many times, also, your own heart has known that even you have cursed others” (Ecclesiastes:7:21-22
) and also Proverbs:11:12 says, “He who is devoid of wisdom despises his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his peace.”
Getting offended is almost certainly leading to quarrels . arguments , fights … and we all know that in such situations , there can be pretty sharp words coming out of our mouth , another reason it may be that some people aim at offending you – the newly repented and turned to Christ . …so that they can prove to themselves and to you that nothing changed – if this is the case its best to simply leave that conversation. …
However, even if it is best to avoid confrontation – sometimes it is necessary to confront your brother or sister , but if you must do it , do it in love as we are taught in Matthew:18:15-17
“15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
16 But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.
17 And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.”
i urge you to note that this passage shows where to draw the line to stop and avoid such behavior.
sometimes i find myself avoiding to draw that line and the reason is that sometimes offenses are not from huge reasons but rather small so i try my best to not get offended at all . in Colossians:3:13 it says that “13 bearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.” this is very very important in my heart – i have been forgiven much and i also forgive a lot 🙂 it’s best when it happens that way
Also take into account this – most of the times you get offended – is not because of them it’s because of you .
this may seem strange but oftentimes people are not aware of the fact that what they say may not be what you hear . sometimes we have our own insecurities – about ourselves – be it age , looks , clothes , anything about you can become a reason to feel attacked by others . … keep in mind that some people are just blunt and do not realise that what they say may hurt , and also most of these kind of things are not even said with a bad intention – before you let the upset feelings take over examine the situation a bit – take into account the cultural background of that person ,also think about what you are really sensitive about . should be easier then to avoid “mindless” words to hurt you.
Seek peace if you can and guard your own mouth . i really hope this helped and i pray God blesses you abundantly making you overcome hardships and further your relationship with Him.